Alter Ego

Well, I’m done with being depressed. I haven’t been the same person since the day I graduated, but that hasn’t helped with anything. I fell in love with her; I don’t need it to be the end of me. I’m not going to stand around waiting and wanting death or hoping I get some kind of miracle chance.

I have never needed anyone, and I won’t start now. That’s not to say that I don’t want any friends, but I definitely don’t need anyone to contain my sanity. I’ve never been sane, but I’ve been rather distraught lately.

My words will probably remain love, as long as my heart does. I’ve always been a romantic at heart, though.

Rain has fallen, but it’s time for me to become ‘the culmination of all I have been’* and sprout anew yet again.

Love isn’t supposed to be pain. I love and shouldn’t expect anything and that’s fine by me.

Words of Jodi Herman.

Space Maker

I had the most horrific nightmare last night. I haven’t had a nightmare in forever. Well, I suppose that is that I remember. Of course, it would be damn near impossible to forget this.

I have dealt with such bullshit in my life. I understand how much death sucks. I lost one of my best friends earlier in the year, on May 15th at 11:30.

Anyway, in my dream I went to go see someone that I really care about that I haven’t seen in forever.

She got cancer.

Ugh, I feel like I’m gonna throw up.