Stars and sons

My life hasn’t been very much of anything for the past seventeen years.

As of lately, all I do is write. I’m slowly becoming quiet again. I don’t have much to say that I wouldn’t rather write. I don’t pay attention in class anymore. (Not that I ever really did.) I just keep trying to write something worth reading. It’s not really working. I get a lot of comments on my writing; I don’t think it necessarily means it’s any good. I just want to write something worthy of being proud.

It seems nobody ever reads any of my writing; except you, and I thank you. You’re definitely the best.

It’s ridiculous how many of the kids in creative writing that don’t write a lot… I’d figure that they would have picked the class because they like to write, not because it would be easy.

Why do I hate people so much? I just want to write something worth reading! Something for my one reader. Something you think is amazing.

If I did, my life would be complete. I don’t think it will ever happen, though. I won’t give you any more poems until something good comes along. It might take a while, though. You would figure in the 850+ that I have that there would be something worth reading.

There really isn’t, though.

Oh, and I don’t churn them out as fast as I can– I write whatever comes out. My eyes are acting weird. I’m becoming depressed. I’m lovesick. No, I don’t need your advice. And, I don’t care about your opinions– It’s my life, and it’s now or never, I ain’t gonna live forever.

I’ll give up after I’m dead.

Great….

Skeith died again. I had to go buy some jumper cables since nobody at work had them. Now, my seatbelt doesn’t want to work. It keeps beeping over and over, and my automatic sliding seatbelt won’t slide, and my cassette player doesn’t want to work, either. I think it’s because of a broken fuse, but my dad doesn’t think so. We hooked it up to the battery charger for tonight.

Hopefully, it will work tomorrow. If not, there’s two batteries in the basement to switch it with. I just hope my dad will actually try the whole fuse thing like I said, if it doesn’t.

I’d rather not waste one of the good batteries in the basement, if I don’t need to.

Again

I went to get Skeith last night, but we had no jumper cables.

I got Skeith today, though.

Disasters

Well, today has been one disaster after another. So, I got up and fell asleep in the tub. Then, I went to my bus and chilled with my wet hair. After that, I went into school to my PE class. We watched the beginning of 28 days. I got a headache that didn’t end. Second period we played with boats we made out of aluminum foil… sounds cooler than it is. In third I acted like I was finishing the program I finished in like five minutes yesterday. Fourth period I did nothing, like every other day. I’m gonna fail the current project, because I need to film outside of school and I really can’t do that. Fifth period was math; I knew how to get all the answers, but I can never explain anything to save my life. I sounded retarded with some of the things I said. Sixth period was lunch. Seventh was English where we didn’t do anything.

We didn’t really do anything in eighth as Miss Salvatore had a meeting.

Then, the bus broke, and we had to wait for another one to come.

Then, I got home. I got ready for work….

At work I kept dropping things and my headache still wouldn’t go away. I ended up leaving my lights on in my car, and nobody was kind enough to tell me. I ended up messing up a Western Union print out, and then took too long to do everything, so I went home late.

I had to scrape all of the snow off of my car, and then I tried to start it up and it didn’t work.

I called my dad, and he came but didn’t have jumper cables. So, he gave me a ride.

Now, I’m waiting for my sister. Hopefully, she’ll be down with jumping my car.

I just want to write, damn it.

One adventure after another.

A song for our fathers

I wasn’t lying when I said my life was one adventure at a time.

There’s very rarely never anything going on. From lovesickness to near-arrest to drug busts to ever moving, my life certainly has a lot of ground to cover in my writing; I haven’t done much of it, but one collection will have to be stories and poetry about my life.

What’s so crazy right now?

It started in 2006: Ian worked at 7-11. Someone came in and bought gasoline and duct tape. Went by the name of Dane Abdoul. (Spelling?) Murdered his girlfriend, because she was pregnant.

Fast forward the VCR to two days ago. Sophie thought the Homicide agency was calling for her. She freaked out for a while, but the next day she learned it was for “In.”

Now, today he was driving to Genuardi’s. 13 cops pulled him over. He had a warrant to capture him. Of course, he told them to f*ck off.

He goes to court sometime soon.

Life recently

Well, I owe $1150. I can probably get that paid off by my birthday– I also have car insurance and my cell phone that I don’t use to pay.

As of now, I’m not spending any money whatsoever. (I even took my debit card out of my wallet.) Then after that, I have to start saving up for school. I didn’t want a car or to go to college. Oh well. So much for tax returns helping.

The plane ticket prices I’ve been waiting for to go visit my family arrived; I have no money, and I’ll be working on spring break to pay off my debt.

I just want to hold you… is that too much to ask?

The funny thing is that I wouldn’t rewrite history, if it meant not coming to Jersey. There’s something in Jersey that matters to me; I’m still gonna get the hell out as soon as I can. It’s not like I’m anything to that something, anyway.

Oh, and I don’t care about any of your opinions.

This life isn’t the one I signed up for.